girlwonder.

This isn’t deep or theoretical. There isn’t any poetry in this message. It’s been surging through my mind for a while now, and I need to let it out.

I never thought this would be an issue. I never thought I’d shut myself off for so long that I’d forget how to feel. That’s why this has been so foreign to me. Please understand this isn’t deliberate. But in the time I’ve invested in guarding myself, I forgot how to be vulnerable. If I’m mean to you or a bit blunt at times, I apologize. If I ignore you or don’t respond, it isn’t because I dislike you. It’s because I do like you, and I’m terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. So I freeze up. I act like you’re not there and sometimes I’m straight up rude.

You’re breaking my exterior day by day. I’m terrified and fascinated. I don’t know when I’ll be completely broken. But I do know that I miss you when you’re only a few feet away. I know I can’t look you in the eyes when you speak. And I know you have one of the purest hearts of anyone I know.